Thank you for taking the time to click on this blog. My name is Simon and today I bring another monthly reflection.
Overall Review
June was a very interesting month. The first week I flew for the first time. I had to do two flights in total to get to our fiance’s location. The second flight was delayed due to rain, but I made it on time due to the pilot finding ways to shorten the ride. We were then with them for 10 days. This may have been the best 10 days. A nice short break from home and work. Work tried to wiggle its way into my dreams many times.
I personally believe that there was not much change or growth in this month. I told myself to read more and I did not accomplish that. I have made a step at exercising at least twice a week now, even if it is just for ten or fifteen minutes. I will say that I believe we have grew some in the aspect of accepting challenges. We have stood up for ourselves much more recently, at work and at home. I think we/I have improved on controlling our emotions when it comes to bad encounters at work. That being, if one is to speak rudely to us, we are able to not let it harm us. We control our response and how it affects us. That has been difficult. The moment our head lays on the pillow, a thousands thoughts come rushing. It has been difficult dealing with that as it has led to a terrible sleep schedule. Which we are still working on, I believe that that will be one of my July goals; Work on the sleep schedule.

Major Events
We flew for the first time in our life. It was exciting and terrifying. I remember as the plane was moving and getting ready for take off, I was gripping the chair arms and shaking. It got better one the last two flights on the way home, but the landing was something else. There is a small silence and stillness, it made me think we had already landed. I thought, oh, it is not that bad. Then the plane jerked and the tires screeched as it slowly came to a stop. It was an Adrenalin rush, that is for sure.
Our fiance bought us our own computer. As we had to turn ours back to the school. I am excited to use it for projects and for ways that will benefit me!
When we got back home, our ring was there. We had proposed to her in February of 2021. Usually the female partner will only have a ring during the engagement period. However, we are long distance and I was tired of people flirting with me at school and work so I asked her if she would be willing to get me one. She had already been looking and chose one for me. I like it quite a bit. It is more dedicated to me (as an alter) which I love. Dating and relationships as a DID system can be difficult however we have been working through it. I plan to share more about our journey on this platform.
I was asked to close host at work. I picked up that day to work a position that I really wanted to do. However, no host showed up that day. I would either just host the entire night or just do To-Go. I am not very experienced at it at all, however I knew if I never challenged myself I would not get better at it. I decided; I wanted to do To-Go for a few hours then I will close host for them. My manager made a deal with me. I was the only one up front and running the To-Go front. They told me to call for help anytime I needed. It got extremely busy for a Monday night. It was challenging, I was panicking internally, however when I was finally about to move over to Host. I had a few Co-workers tell me they were extremely proud of me and that I did a good job. I asked for help and avoided freaking out when things got overwhelming or when guests were rude to me. I already felt a bit more confident on the phone and computer at the end of night. I thanked them for the opportunity and happily moved to close host for the last two hours of the night. It might not sound like much, but I am very proud. As not too long ago, I was only training.
Mental Health
June was an extreme roller-coaster of emotion. It is very difficult to identify emotions. However, I knew when I was struggling and would ask for some time alone. Sometimes I would just vanish, which I plan to try stopping, but I would then think and come back knowing why the emotion may be being caused. Knowing anger was a symptom of depression, I was able to pin point why certain emotions were arriving. I worked on accepting them, some were difficult to accept. But I accepted them and worked on moving on.
To help with my mental health I also started to be more consistent in my Spiritual practice. I am Hellenic and follow Buddhism. I have been working on connecting more with my Deities and focusing on philosophy and values of Buddhist. As of now, I still feel a bit disconnected, I do need to work on clearing my mind. When Meditating the day before, I realized how much I had on my mind. When someone allowed an ear for me to speak to. I went on, not realizing what all was in my head. For the future I think I will work more on Writing my thoughts then meditating and reading. For now, I do feel we are stable. But there is still some unsolved issues with our main disorder.
Goals
Goals for July. I very much want to make some actual progress this month. Visualizing us even exercising is extremely difficult. I know we need to work more on our physical health and we are starting to become unhappy with it. I think I will probably look into the gym that is not very far from my house. It is a 30 minute walk. So, if I do plan to go in the morning pretty early, I will need to walk. Which is a 30 minute walk, that is about the same distance from my home to work (walking). It is a 10 minute bike ride, but it is all uphill. Thinking about this makes me feel exhausted, but I want and need progress so I need to do something.
Another goal is to look into new foods and recipes. Due to our Grandmother having Type 1 Diabetes and our brother having a sensory disorder. It has been difficult to find food we all like. I want to find quick recipes that are filling and healthy that I can make for breakfast, lunch and dinner. As I will not always eat that much daily. We also need to work on drinking more water.
I want to read a lot. I have many books that I need to read and finish. I do not plan to rush through these books. As they teach very important lessons, but I want to at least read daily. Starting to form habits is extremely difficult, however, I know once I do it for a few weeks it may get easier. I just need to start. I often hear that the first step is the hardest. However, some believe it does not get easier, you just get stronger. If I do this, I might be able to see which one fits myself more.
Some minor goals are to focus on being consistent in my practice, meditation, medication, reading, hygiene and more. I want to work more on my mindset and emotions. I need to focus on my communication towards my lover and to others. If I am uncomfortable I can state that, if one is starting to annoy me, I can state that.
I think that is all for today. I hope you all have an amazing day and start you month strong. Share with me your thoughts and goals for this next coming month.
This made me so happy to read! The plane landing can be very startling and that actually was the thing that woke me on the first ride! I really miss having you here. I can help encourage reading if you'd like! i have been reading nearly every day! There's so much here it's hard to comment on all of it but please remember I'm here with you every step of the way 💜❤️
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